SOME TIPS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT DEPRESSION

Depression may be a temporary state in human’s lives, when new things need to be found out and implemented, or it may be an attempt to stay in a situation where one does not have the opportunity to grow farther. Or it may be a genetic condition, where depression is more likely to occur, often accompanied by examples of depressed behavior by family members.

Depression as the word says, is a combination of “pressure” something pressing you down with a simultaneous attempt to “undo” (“de-”) the pressure. Hence the word de-pression.

Depression as a state is a situation where pressure exists together with a resistance against the pressure itself. This resistance leads to what we call depression.

The resistance can create a huge amount of different symptoms from oversleeping to insomnia, anxiety, worrisome thoughts, controlling behavior, perfectionism, withdrawal, addictions, lack of vitality, not being able to say yes, to say no, to healthy boundaries, to express oneself, to be creative, to allow failure and mistakes, to take risks.

On a physical level one sees also a wide variety of symptoms and diseases.

The first thing to do is recognizing a depression. The second thing to do is to realize that you are resisting a pressure of some sort. The pressure itself is most of the time created by a very valuable life lesson, insight, new step, a decision that needs to be made, a situation that needs to be mourned and let go of.

People with repeated depressions, or people coming from families with a lot of depression need to recognize the fact that they have a lot of experience in trying not to deal with the pressure itself and have learned a wide set of behaviors to stay in a depressed state.

When you are depressed ask yourself: what am I doing to not feel pressure – numbing out, withdrawing, shallow breathing, fighting the pressure, being afraid of the pressure, negative self talk, etc. Make a list of how you do this or how you see your child/family member/partner do this.

NORMAL

Times of depression are normal in human lives. No one likes change and to have to change – from happy into mourning, from one job to the other, from young to old – it is not easy.

To acknowledge the pressure of an imminent change is the first step to get out of depression.

People who are living in a society where depression is less accepted, have other sets of behaviors/rituals, and more support to deal with life changes and pressure.

Recognizing pressure is fear producing; that is where the depression comes from. Pressure has a way of making us afraid. So the first thing to do is acceptance of being afraid and acceptance of feeling pressure and resistance.

TIPS

Some ways of working with a depression are as said:

1. Create the list of things you do to stay depressed.

Some other ways are:

1. Look around you and say hello to everything, good morning plant, and hear the plant say good morning … you name … good morning wall, and hear the wall say, good morning … your name…Keep repeating this because part of undoing resistance against pressure is the feeling that you don’t have a right to exist and by hearing everything around you friendly saying your name gives the subconscious an acceptance of being where you are at the moment. This is a very powerful tool.

The next step is:

1. Physical movement, get up and go for a walk, wash the windows, vacuum clean, turn on the music and dance, this takes an act of force but do it. The cellular system of your body gets into a “standstill” during a depression and needs movement to get out of it. Even ten minutes of brisk movement will do the trick. This will also help with the (4) breathing. When in fear or depression our breathing becomes shallow which helps your systems to not be in contact with yourself and to not feel.

Yoga and relaxation can help too. But a depression needs more than relaxation. It needs acceptance of the pressure.

Sometimes the pressure comes out in the form of tears or screams or anger. This is perfectly okay. Let is come out during physical activity, or listening to music, seeing a sorry movie, crying under the shower. Do not hang on to it, just let it be.

(5) If you need to scream and holler, do it while vacuum cleaning when nobody is home, or find an opera on you car radio and scream and sing and holler. Making noises is as important as physical movement.

The above tips are geared to get the de- out of the –pression. It does not solve the pressure itself. Because the pressure is the life force, it is your deep wise inner self telling you something. A change, a mourning, a talent you need to listen to, a memory, a new way of living.

So allow for release of emotion that may come with the letting go of resistance. The emotions though are not the pressure itself. Emotions are the wraps, the box, around the pressure.

TREASURE

The pressure, keep remembering that, is created by the life force trying to give you a very important and loving message. Although it is the least thing you feel in situations like this the message is a loving message, mostly wrapped up in fear/anger/hopelessness. Being in a depression is a journey of discovery. Scary, yes, but also exciting if you allow yourself to feel that. The challenge is to get the treasure out of the box.

So allow for up and down movements of emotions, let them be. Do not hang on to them Do not judge them. Do not judge yourself. These are the clashes of the armor that will help you to uncover the treasure. Life will not be the same afterwards.

So do not ask yourself to be “normal” again or your old self. You will change. Tell yourself that you are changing for the better. You are going to learn a valuable lesson that will make you stronger, more powerful, and more loving.

Exercise your inner dialogue. Your subconscious is very literal – it is obediently responding to everything you think. If you think: I am depressed, it will respond with Oh, is that what I am, so I will be. If you tell it that you are on a journey of discovery, it will be on that.

If you tell your sub consciousness that all is okay and that you are going to listen to the message it will do that.

(6) Make a list of all the negative self-talk: (“I am always…I should…I will never…Depression runs in the family so I can’t change it…) Start recognizing negative thoughts and say “delete” when you think one.

Be aware of the fact that everything you think is being taken personally by your subconscious. When you think of another person …is so stupid, your subconscious will react as if you are talking to yourself. Start being aware of the big load of negativity that you pour out over your so obedient and literal sub consciousness.

Mind your language, recognize negative ways you say things about yourself, others, and situations.

OPENINGS

All the above is geared to create room and openings for the real life information to be heard and come into. The depression will not go away till you have learned to open up, to dig for the treasure that is behind the depression.

The mistake, often made, is to think that all the ways of “doing” it, or going into therapy to remember the past, will take away the depression. That is not true.

The pain needs to be accepted and felt. That will take away the resistance.

The life treasure behind the painful memory, the new ways, the next step, the new spiritual insight will take away the depression.

Depressions happen regularly during a lifetime, especially in a culture where one is supposed to be happy, where mourning is seen as bad, where value systems are being put upon you from the outside.

During the process, give yourself at least an hour per day to write down your feelings, without judging them. Ask yourself: what is the truest desire of my heart.

When coming out of the depression, decide to learn what needs to be learned. May it be saying goodbye. May it be allowing another spirituality, may it be meditation, or may it be taking up another study or hobby. Be patient and gentle with yourself in the process. Often new ways of communication with others will be required.

CHANGE

Be aware of the fact that this is a process of change. Living is a continuous process of learning and changing. Learning how to do the process of changing and growing into the Wiser You is by itself a valuable life lesson.

Be proud of your courage. Find support if you need it. You did not learn to drive a car all by yourself either.

If you seek professional support, make sure that your facilitator is not “hooked” on pain and victim hood, and will guide you through it all into finding the loving message of your soul that is beneath it. Intend to learn the growing/changing process, so that you do not have to get into a deep depression the next time a life change is calling on your door.

The process of change that you are, or the new choices you are making, may create resistance in the people around you. Recognize that and be bold and gentle with them and with yourself. Nobody seems to like change, so sometimes you have to let go of old situations, or become strong enough to go your own way against pressure of your loved ones, friends, work environment or church. You will find new surroundings if that is what is called for.

Remember, the treasure, the message is a loving one.

Mica

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